“how many positions are there?”

Paul Cézanne’s “Orgy," 1880.

 

Bristol Palin, Jamie Lynn Spears…as of recent times I have heard that teenage pregnancy seems to be on the rise again.  Due to pure laziness, I have not checked out the actual statistics for myself, however I can certainly say that judging from the US pop culture phenom, Hollywood has turned into a regular Babies ‘R Us. 

I don’t believe that any people in developed nations really like the idea of teenage pregnancy too much and this surge in babies having babieshas made pregnancy a political issue once again (not like it ever really went away).  This always takes me back to my sex ed class and how limited it really was.  Yes, we learned what penises and vaginas were but the tension in the room was SERIOUS and I think that is often the case when you teach abstinence only sex ed when a sizable percentage of your population has already engaged in some form of sex.  I have always been a big advocate for comprehensive sex ed program in our school systems, but even more importantly in our social and political scenes.  Sex is dark and nasty to us, and you are too if you desire to have it it and if you’re even thinking about “playing for the other team” you better watch it.  NOT COOL. 

Indulge me and read this article from Times Online about the Dutch sex ed program.  It covers everything from porn, the emotional aspect of sex and homosexuality and many of the quotes come directly from the mouths of children.  Granted, I was quite shocked at some of the specific examples, however this really could be attributed to my conditioning as a member of US culture EVEN though I disagree with our current system.  Will it ever change?  Here’s that link (and notice that it’s included on the women’s section of the site as if to imply that men don’t care about the topic…curious). 

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article5208865.ece

Having children…selfish or selfless?

 

Expectant mom Angelina Jolie

Recently I came across an article (don’t ask me how) that centered around the debate of, is having children SELFish or SELFless?  This debate has spawned from the incredible celebrity baby “boom” that has taken place in most recent history, from Madonna’s adoption to Halle Berry’s first child and of course Angelina Jolie’s expanding family. 

Is having children SELFish of SELFless?  Well, I think it would be ignorant of anyone to fail to acknowledge the self-centered principles involved.  I personally have witnessed many girls and women over the years state they wanted to have children because the wanted to feel “loved” and “needed” or simply wanted to take care of and nurture another being. Mind you, some will argue that this is natural and innate for women, but I am not so convinced.

From the time little girls are able to recognize difference between their fingers and toes, we are already making sure they understand that what they should do when they grow up is get married and raise children. For many women (and just people in general) this is not the case.  Some are not able to conceive children, carry them full term and others simply don’t seek to get married or maybe aren’t even able to do so. 

With the recent Gloucester school pregnancy “boom,” which by the way, high school girls have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time, going on and the recent influx of Hollywood “A-Listers” having more and more children, this does bring up the very important and thought provoking issue of why we parent.  Read the article I’m referencing here.

IT’S A GIRL!

Nancy and Thomas Beatie on Oprah earlier this year.

Thomas Beatie has given birth to a baby girl!  Nancy and Thomas welcomed their child earlier this week in Oregon.  Thomas, a man who was born female, decided to keep his reproductive organs because he knew he wanted to have a child one day.  Thomas and Nancy appeared earlier this year on Oprah, which has been one of the most memorable shows on television.  While on Oprah, Thomas stated, ” I see pregnancy as a process and it doesn’t define who I am.”

That being said, I know for many, this has to be somewhat confusing as many of us define womanhood by the ability to have children.  Throughout the years, I have heard women who could not bear children describe themselves as feeling like less of a woman, to which many people enthusiastically reply, “that doesn’t make you any less of a woman!”  So I ask you, what does it mean to be a woman?  Are those who can’t bear children or choose not to any less of a woman?  Is being a mother the divine purpose for all born females? 

To put this in even a broader context, what does this tell us about we feel about fatherhood?  For many years fathers have been thought as emotionally detached disciplinarians.  So, I ask, is that enough for you?  Are we satisfied that only our women can serve as nurturers and caretakers of our children?  In my opinion this is insulting to both genders, because this idea has latent messages buried deep within its language.  If we are to believe this is true then that means that first, women are simply too emotional and not strong enough to be considered effective disciplinarians and secondly, that men are unable to be caring and empathetic caretakers.  I can only hope that if this is how the majority presently feels about gender roles and parenting that we are making steps to progress toward a median where both men and women can be considered empathetic, nurturing, responsible and dutiful parents and maybe with the birth of the Beaties little girl we are taking a very important step on the path to true gender equity.