Last night I stum
bled upon a very provocative episode of 20/20, a special about transgendered youth. Led by Barbara Walters this report examined the lives of a transgendered youth, their parents and communities. This was a in-depth and revealing look at one of society’s minorities, people who believe they were born into the wrong body. Of course this is an oversimplification of the matter, but I must admit, even as someone who knows a little bit about gender issues, I was amazed at the level that these young people were to express themselves. It is amazing what kids are able to say, if we just choose to listen to them.
Living in a society where gender and sexual identity are so contentious, I was completely floored by the warmth and care that the parents of these children had. As a whole, we are still trying to come to terms with the “coming out” of what we call sexual minorities and now we have the opportunity to witness the “coming out” of another section of the population, those with gender identity disorder.
From what I recall, most of these children had been under the care of a mental health professional and had been diagnosed with gender identity disorder, which is both a blessing and a curse. This diagnosis no doubt gives us (society and mental health practitioners) the ability to categorize thoughts and behavior which can help us better understand what these children are experiencing, but as any intelligent scholar of psychology will tell you, our diagnoses in the DSM are reflective of our culture. It wasn’t long ago when homosexuality was removed as a diagnosable psychiatric condition.
I don’t believe I have ever witnessed such and amazing display of unconditional love in our mainstream media. I remember one set of parents who specifically allowed their young male child to dress and act as feminine gender specific. They accepted her for who she was and then helped introduce her real self to the public. It was a process no doubt, but this couple gave what most of us fail at giving others, unconditional love. One one hand these parents were mourning the loss of their little boy and also accepting the beautiful young girl who had been a part of their family all along.
We all know that every child gets teased and we know how hard it us to come up through the ranks of junior high and high school, yet these families are brave and courageous enough to allow their children to be who they truly are. And, you could certainly say, “well she was born a male, isn’t that who she is?” To which I would respond, are all our behaviors and attitudes solely determined by our genitalia? Have you ever felt what it is like to have someone else dictate who you are? Have you felt that loss of power? That loss of control? Taking these things into consideration, I think we can then begin to realize how important self-identity really is.
